maintain radio silence

Maintain radio silence

I walk along singing a gay tune

and notice you

maintain radio silence

I play the fool for a walk back

and follow you

maintain radio silence

you reluctantly open the door for me

I ask myself why do I

maintain radio silence

I have been in love with you for so long

but I

maintain radio silence

why?

you told me it was for the best.

I think a gentle hi and goodbye is ok

I don't want to

maintain radio silence

Free me from my cage

next time I will say hi.

I don't want to be your lover.

I am over thinking you could ever love me the way I love you

no longer will I

maintain radio silence

I am free

Angry

Have you ever seen steel magnolias.

There is a scene in the movie that makes me cry and laugh at the same time. The way that mother feels is how I feel.

I am so angry. So much pain from brokenness. I am just angry at it all. I have never really felt this kind of rage before. I squelch it out and then it comes back full on a couple hours or days later. My logic is not helping me. Usually I can dispense my logic to squelch feelings that are unnecessary.

I can a little bit with this. The oddest thing is that prayer usually brings it up.

Right now all I have calming me is my loud heavy metal music.