Friday, April 2, 2010

Tenebrae

Today is the day we remember...
remember, that word brings up powerful feelings.
The act of remembering that pulls from the deepest caverns of the mind a flood of feelings,thoughts, and images.
Today we remember how we scoffed.
We remember how we screamed for his death.
We hated this man just to go along with the crowd.

Jump back, I never said those things.
I wasn't even alive in the first century.
I have never wanted the death of anyone.
Now I can't say I never wanted to hit someone upside the head for acting out of line, but I never wanted to end their life. I have always found life so precious.

Then I think about how my sin is a mockery of God.
When I lie, that is me spitting in th face of my God.
When I have lustful thoughts about the people I see, that is me beating the crown of thorns into your head.
My constant defilement of the temple of the Lord, my body, by making unhealthy choices, that is me raising the cat of nine tails high above my head to take the flesh from your back and sides.
When I break a rule that the authority you placed had made for my benefit, that is me yelling, "Crucify him!!!" in the court.
When I love something or someone more than you, that is me with a hammer in my hand. I bring it down like I am simply building a house. In reality I am nailing you to that tree.
As I walk with pride after something I thought I had done by myself, but you had truly done. I was just taking credit for it.
Lord that is me denying that I ever knew you as people recognize me being part of your group.
When I think there is no way my God can handle my problems, I am walking up to you in the garden, betraying the son of man.
When I gossip about someone to people that shouldn't know, I am mocking you at the foot of the cross.

So how can I say, I was not in that crowd?
How can I say I did not have the whip in my hand?

Lord today I remember how I scoffed at you with my sin.
Lord today I remember how I beat you with my sin.

Today I remember that you died for me even as I mocked you.
You saved me.
You forgave me when I didn't deserve it.
You are the king of mercy that deserves all praise.
You are my redeemer and friend.

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