Sunday, November 21, 2010

My memories lie to me

"Don't touch me!"
I yelled at my father
He is my father I should trust him.
My skin crawls at his touch
Shouldn't I be normal.
I should enjoy the touch of any man
My memories lie to me.
Something happened
Someone touched me before I could even remember
Should I hate this unknown man?
How can I deal with something I can't even remember happening?
Who is to blame?
My parents.
My God.
This unknown man.
Would it help?
Will this ever be fixed in me?
Where do I fit in?
I wasn't born this way.
I will probably die this way.
I physically want her.
I mentally want him.
Am I confused?
Or have I finally hit a point of clarity?
Questions that Ph. D's will and do ponder.
I am left to deal with the consequences.

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