My memories lie to me

"Don't touch me!"

I yelled at my father

Why?

He is my father I should trust him.

My skin crawls at his touch

Why?

Shouldn't I be normal.

I should enjoy the touch of any man

My memories lie to me.

Something happened

Someone touched me before I could even remember

Should I hate this unknown man?

How?

How can I deal with something I can't even remember happening?

Who?

Who is to blame?

Myself.

My parents.

My God.

This unknown man.

Would it help?

No

Will this ever be fixed in me?

Where do I fit in?

I wasn't born this way.

I will probably die this way.

I physically want her.

I mentally want him.

Am I confused?

Or have I finally hit a point of clarity?

Questions that Ph. D's will and do ponder.

I am left to deal with the consequences.